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Bad Mom Diaries
The long letting-go
My daughter is sixteen. Her boyfriend turned nineteen yesterday. They have been dating for a year and a half, which is just shy of how long I’ve been dating my guy. I allow her to stay with her boyfriend and his parents sometimes, more often now that I see how good it’s been for her.
My parenting has not been perfect. Add to that a high-conflict divorce, a couple horrid first experiences with our justice system, and a great deal of financial insecurity and there you go, you got yourself the makings of a B-grade coming-of-age flick, starring my kids.
My parenting style is also controversial. I’m sure many Americans would be appalled by decisions I’ve made, at the inappropriate activities that I’ve allowed my girl-child to do. I’ve questioned those very decisions, sure that I am a bad parent. But my decisions felt right, too.
I couldn’t tell if those intuitive feelings were actually a justification for my shirking off motherhood responsibilities or if they truly were how I wanted to parent. I hear some iteration of these sentiments almost daily.
“You can’t be your kid’s friend.”
“You can’t be so easy on them, they are taking advantage of you.”
“You just gotta make them do it”. (Yes, people actually say that… because, you know, that’s…