Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash

I’m not powerful. I think I can find my way back. How do I find my way back and not wreck this new thing? Do I want to save this new thing?

I don’t know what to do with that look of his. It’s sharp; piercing and deeply pleasing, both. I can’t get enough of him. I’m not sure I understand him.

^^ See that? That’s what you call an ‘Aside’. It runs alongside the direction I wanted to go, enough that I can go back if I choose. I so choose. I had a blip, is all. But that blip, well, that blip is so darn yummy…

Okay, I’ll try that again. How I Become Powerful- that is the title, right?!

I don’t feel powerful with him and he knows it. Can one be both empowered and vulnerable at the same time? I’m sure I heard that somewhere.

The trick, maybe, is to stand back from those dipshit moments, as he calls them. Aptly named thoughtless moments that have nothing at all to do with me. Is he mocking me? He catches himself, mostly, calls out his own self. I laugh because I get it. I do that, too. I’m not the only one growing into my own, here…

Don’t you see? I don’t want to lose myself again. Or put aside my feelings so you won’t be upset. My assumption is that if I share myself with you, you will not be gentle with my heart. There it is- flawed reasoning! Conditioned, I’m sure.