Photo by amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash

Do you know moments where your heart kind of drops out? Where you are acutely aware of the pounding but not sure you can pinpoint it? Yeah, new love will do that to you…

The thing is, I feel the truth of the moment, and I know I’m right. This is a new kind of exchange for me. I’m used to words. I’m not used to actions. His actions tell me he’s listening. His actions answer my questions. His actions are how he talks to me. I’ve no need to flip out.

Of course, all that makes him sexier still. My desire is to answer in his language, to make him happy in the way he understands best. He does this for me, as well.

I wondered if I was being honest with him- and with myself- when I said I didn’t want to be serious. How sweet to put that wondering to bed. I am not ready to be serious. I do just want to enjoy the moment. This is not an all or nothing proposition.

Someday, I want a love that will match mine. The kind of love that will ante up and continue to bet on me. A love that I want to go all-in for. A love that’s willing to go all-in for me.

Let’s play this hand, you and I.

Are you still in this? I’m still here, you say.

I know what you meant, but this is what I heard: I’m still in this, I’m still at the table. The days and hours before- they got us here, and still.