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Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz
3 min readSep 17, 2020
R.Kasowicz c. 2020 “What Does My Presence Upset?”

This is a hard spot… but it’s not me who’s in it.

I think I’m putting him there. Oh, I don’t like that at all, not even a little bit.

Okay, maybe a little bit. At first, there may have been a tiny sense of satisfaction. You see, I have never been so important to someone that I got put first in a healthy way. What can I say… remnant needs of a fatherless child? Selfish emotional survival tactics? Ugh, for sure.

Maybe for a split-second my toddler mind felt that sense of satisfaction. But then. Then I thought of you.

What does my presence upset? Do I guilt you? What a nasty passive-aggressive maneuver. I’m sorry, my love, I haven’t been thoughtful.

This may be a Growing you will face, and I’m sorry to bring you here. Just as my baggage does, your baggage has its own unique set of challenges.

I don’t want to be a source of contention, or to cause a rift, but I have a question: Every son has to break away at some point, yes? I don’t feel like it’s my place to insert myself or push. I don’t want to cause angst or suffering of any sort. Does my presence alone- SURPRISE!!- cause enough of an upset? I won’t apologize for that.

I can see how I was selfish, though, and for that I will say I’m sorry. But if, indeed, a man must break away from his mother to truly give himself to another, I don’t want to be the wedge. And if a…

Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz
Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz

Written by Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz

ADHD atheist mom, narcissistic marriage escapee, gymnastics coach, equine owner. Fave topics are neuroscience, addiction, education, psychology, politics, law

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