Member-only story
I appreciate Alain de Botton’s philosophy on love. One point that caught me is this- he says, when first meeting someone, instead of asking what the other person does for a living or some other conventional “who are you” type of question, one should ask how the other person is mad- what is your madness?
When it comes to love, I’m pretty sure one of mine is a remnant fear, vestigial.
Even though my love is so care-full with both my head and my heart, I am still running scared. Letting fear rule me, jumpy like a nervous bunny. I’m not letting him in. I don’t trust either of us.
But he fought for us, and we stumbled through it. It wasn’t pretty. His certainty settled me- it’s almost a swagger, and it’s about him like an aura. From his gentle approach to his surety of movement, he calms the air around him. His humor cuts thick moments like a hot knife through butter.
I am made of those moments. A heavy presence lightened by life’s fleeting joys. So many little things to be grateful for and my fear is losing ground. Maybe I just need to remember myself- this is who I am. I cannot change what weighs me down and that’s okay.
Shh, be here…