Photo by @gebhartyler on Unsplash

He said I was rubbing off on him, once. The opposite is also true.

Today, I am still joyful, even though…

I will not hide who I am or how I feel. Yes, it stung- and still. Life is smacking me pretty good right now. I know defeat and rejection, both.

I think what I’m getting at is that I think we could be extraordinary. And extraordinary is not come by an easy road. I wouldn’t change a single moment of the life I’ve lived, even if I could.

I wouldn’t be here, now… schooled.

“Overwhelmed”, I say.

“I want to hear you say it”, says he.

I was not expecting that. Terrified, for no other reason than feeling the depth of a simple statement aloud. He feels synced. Or the other way ‘round, I can’t quite tell.

But I had almost said it. And he knew. And he slipped.

Or maybe he didn’t.

But he knew. Oh, my heart! All wings tickling me so, I thought my chest might burst.

Emotional orgasm.

See how off-kilter this has thrown me?

Fits and starts, chopped thoughts.

Like a jackpot score on a slot machine, all my bells and whistles ringing, a cacophonous display. Almost embarrassed at my obnoxious good fortune.

Something’s gotta give, right? I keep playing this message like it’s the only one. An automatic assumption- but only because I didn’t recognize it was part of a message I could change. I’m ready to re-wire. I would like to change my preconceived notion, please. I don’t want to operate running on the assumption that something’s gotta give.

Because maybe it doesn’t.