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Fear And Loving In Las Cabeza

Yes, but not quite yet…

Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz
2 min readJan 31, 2021
Photo by Sunrise King on Unsplash

Don’t want to hold back. Oh, I’m so much head-in-the-sand and still wearing blinders.

Something feels different. I don’t know what. We’re not in Las Vegas anymore, Dr. Gonzo…

Fear of the unknown, perhaps? Not a thin veil, this, but a brick wall that needs undoing. What purpose does it serve? How is it serving me now? It’s not. But the nudge is there, and it isn’t wholly unfounded. We have some challenges to deal with, he and I.

Come

So lovely from his lips. For tonight, I will. What could be? I try not to let this thought concern me, sometimes I succeed. And that has made it beautiful. I can feel forever with him, but not quite yet. My new momentary mantra: yes, but not quite yet.

Only for a scene or two, I hope. A conscious shift to get out of this one.

Are you coming with me?

Yes, but not quite yet.

Yes, I’m with you and it’s grand and let’s keep going just like this, forever. Maybe tomorrow we will find that we lost ‘not quite yet’ somewhere along the way, like so many bricks from our walls dismantled. The remains of a shift unveiled.

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Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz
Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz

Written by Rebecca Heuter-Kasowicz

ADHD atheist mom, narcissistic marriage escapee, gymnastics coach, equine owner. Fave topics are neuroscience, addiction, education, psychology, politics, law

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