I know our experiences are way different, but just wanted to share one outcome of a father's poor treatment toward his daughter... My ex-husband treats his children well only if they are interested in what he wants to do and only if they want to participate in what he's doing or what he finds worthy. Sounds similar to what you are experiencing.

We got divorced because of his antics.

Our daughter is almost 17 now and has been estranged from her father for almost 3 years because of his antics. She's finally back on track with her life, does well in school, has a job and a horse to care and pay for... her father hasn't paid a dime in over 2 years for her (I mean, who cares about a divorce decree or judge's orders, right?!)

She's working on getting her license (we finally saved the money for driver's ed) and has said she will consider going to visit him when she has her license and a vehicle so that she can choose to leave if she feels she needs to.

These last 5-7 years, when the marriage was really breaking down, and through the divorce, were really hard on both of my kids, but my daughter took the brunt of it. And it really messed her up. She wanted so badly to be a daddy's girl- and tried- and he just never saw her.

It was horrible, I was crushed watching it happen.

He did that same thing, though, would 'joke' until tears and screaming- he always had to win. That was sickening- a grown man having to win against his little children of 5, 6, 7 years old.

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.