I love that you included that some things are non-negotiable, such as childcare... I let most everything go except that- I willingly "did it myself" (and had to quit my waitress job) bc my now-ex put our kids in some dangerous situations. Such as allowing our at-the-time 7 yo daughter go out to feed horses in full darkness with a flashlight, unbeknownst to me. She almost got herself in some serious trouble doing this... and has a split leg muscle to this day-10 years later- that still gives her pain from accidentally getting caught between two horses shuffling between hay piles.

But when it comes to the other stuff... well, that's probably why we're divorced, my ex and I. I realized how awful I was being treated and that I would never be able to hold up the facade of the domestic goddess my ex envisioned he was married to.
He called me supermom to keep me there, what a compliment.
But it's not- and now I loudly and proudly proclaim my value and my worth! Supermom, superwoman... no matter- it's not a compliment. And boy, do ppl get mad when you aren't doing "your job" as they see it. It really has upset the status quo in my household... ehem, the adult status quo, my teens have adjusted just fine! Both my bf and myself, though, we have both had to question our ingrained life-role beliefs. And there are plenty of (his) family members that are having a hard time with it and make it known we are doing it wrong...