I second the comment about baby-wearing and co-sleeping! At the least it can give you free hands to play with your daughter some or do other things. My son (16 months younger then his sister) was a challenging baby- fussy with digestive issues, cried lots, slept little, handed off a bunch for needed mental and physical breaks... "wearing" him turned out to be the best decision I ever made and got me through my baby years mostly on my own (bad marriage, absent husband/father). (btw, if you are interested in babywearing and don't know much about it, a great resource- and there are many- to check out is The Attachment Parenting Book by William and Martha Sears. Here's a quick article from their website:

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/baby-wearing/benefits-babywearing)

Depression can do some pretty nasty things to a person, and the emotional fallout can be devastating, just like you have shared with us. But sometimes success is not about fixing a situation, it's about getting through it. Stupid advice and not at all what you need to hear because it doesn't help, right?

Enlist your son's help, seriously. Decide today that this is not only your problem- this is equally your son's problem. Get face-to-face with him and give him your eye contact. Band together with him and decide to do life because this is the hand you got and you can make it beautiful and wonderful and joyful despite the current circumstances. Caring for your young is showing love.

He will show his discomfort and dislike in the way that babies do, by crying and being fussy and manifested physical reactions. You, too, will show your discomfort and dislike in the same way, only through an adult filter. Band together with your son and fight to break through your emotional limitations. That's love, too.

Say fine, this is how it's gotta be, we both aren't happy with each other but that's the way it is and decide to get through it together. Make it a secret pact that only belongs to you and your son... if you feel like you have nothing else, you will have that pact to connect you with him, a welcome positive in the world of negatives that is your shared experience with your lil man.

Sending lots of love and energy out into the world today, hope it finds its way to you!