Sorry, but I can't yet worry about how my ex-narc feels or worry about him getting treatment because I had to save myself.

I'm grateful for all of the info that I see and all the youtube channels I watch that talk about narcissism and codependency.

We did go to therapy. It was court-ordered and my ex chose the therapist. And our therapist was old school and blamed me and our children. The ex was calm, cool, and collected. He stopped the appointments after the therapist actually held him accountable for reimbursing me (for school clothes).

From the start, the therapist flat out told us that her goal was to get my teens to obey the court order. That's it.

Not to listen to them, not to help make things better, not to build relationships between our kids and their dad, not to help the ex and I co-parent better. Just to follow the court order.

WTF?!

You can't help those that don't want the help. If they are seeking treatment, great, good for them. But there are still lots of therapists that have no clue about narcissism or how subtle and pervasive it is. Or the damage it can do.

Or how people who have high narcissistic tendencies manipulate others.

Therapists, for example...

I can't worry about my abuser feeling bad. I can't trust a word my abuser says. I've learned it comes back to bite me and my kids.

Fortunately, I have people in my life now that I can trust- and it was a hard fought battle to get back to this point so that I didn't repeat my cycle.

I say, keep talking about narcissism and the spectrum it is on and hopefully all the people that need to find that info will have access to it.