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This Is Depression
A night in my life
I’m all by myself. I don’t want to write about this because it feels so awful and now I gotta look at it. And still, try to force myself to do this thing that I love but don’t know how to make work for me. If I don’t have this, what do I have?
I’ve got excuses for anything you might say, that’s what I have. And let me apologize right now for I’m sure you will tire of me.
Yes, I know I’ll most likely feel better tomorrow. That’s about how my episodes have gone for the last few years, and I recognize it’s a challenge in my life. The worst part is that it seems like every time I hit one of these and come out, I come out with a little less hope.
There will always be people who say go for your dreams, you can do it! And those that say be practical and give up on your dreams in favor of something real.
I always wanted to prove them wrong and make my dreams real. But I haven’t done that.
I just got geared up and now have an actual goal, a vision of where I’d like to be in five years. I try to take the advice of those who know how to do this, and it all sounds so great, in theory. I’m not talking about the self-help gurus, the motivational speakers, or the life coaches who’ve become trendy, either. I’m talking about the normal, successful people around me.