We teach people how to treat us- I've loved that statement since the first time I heard it. But wow, was it ever a challenge to put into practice!

Something I didn't understand about worth for a long time, though, is how important it is to be able to 'receive'. Us women are great at being giving and doing for others, whether it's out of love or responsibility or even just because we are already up off the couch and it's no big deal!

But receiving without residual guilt? That's another matter. I almost wonder if it's a cultural thing.

For instance, now my sense of self worth seems to rachet up every time I'm willing to receive without qualification, but it didn't used to be that way. Even with the little stuff- or maybe especially because of the little stuff, I'd always feel like it showed that I was a good person to 'do' and 'be' for others. An experience that comes to mind is this...

Yes, I'm perfectly capable of getting my own drink, and of course I'll get you one while I'm up!

That was my default. If I strayed from that mentality, there was always guilt or shame (a good mom would do it, a good girlfriend acts like this, a good person is helpful and caring).

Now, though, I've gotten a lot better at receiving. Yes, you can get me something to drink. No, I'm not indisposed or in need of your help, but I would surely love it!

And I do.

I'm still in an environment where serving the needs of others is expected because I'm a woman and a mother. It can feel uncomfortable and unnerving to go against that cultural programming.

But when I did- without apology- I started to notice the shift in my self worth...

Little acts add up. Now I am able to receive joyfully and with gratitude as much as I'm able to give of myself and my love.

It can still be a challenging mindset because I 'could be doing more'. But allowing others to 'do' and 'be' for me reminds me that I am worth it. I'm being respectful of their acts of love and care towards me, too, which is a bonus that I didn't recognize at first!

Thank you for the great article!!